Blinker

JENNIE left three years ago, yet ALLAN still found it difficult to leave the house. He could not understand the cold sweat that came over him every time he moved close to the front door. The walls seemed to rise and bear down on him. It was like all of a sudden, he had become small.

The Doctors had not been able to help, and more recently, friends had began to keep their distance. ALLAN knew that people thought he was broken and felt sorry for him but he did not care, there were too many unanswered questions about JENNIE troubling his mind. He was overwhelmed by all the different emotions, but deep down, he felt betrayed, exposed.

He stared at the ceiling and listened to the rain outside.

A THUD broke his rhythm; something had slammed against the window.

ALLAN edged closer to the window and saw something on the ledge outside. A wet little sparrow. It twitched and squeaked weakly in pain.

ALLAN stopped moving towards the sparrow when he started to get dizzy, this was the closest that he had come to the window in three years, but he was still too far away and there was nothing more he could do. He turned his back to the sparrow and returned to the couch.

He tried to sleep but the sparrow continued to squeak. So ALLAN covered his face with a pillow until finally, the squeaking stopped. Tired, he fell asleep.

Later, he woke up and it had stopped raining. He looked to the window and the sparrow was gone.

He felt sad and for a while wondered what might have happened. He came to the conclusion that he probably would never know. The sparrow might have fallen off the edge, flown away, or could have been snatched by a hunter bird, but none of it mattered anymore. What mattered was that he was by himself again and needed to get back to his life.

ALLAN's mind drifted back to JENNIE and again, he felt small. He felt sorry for himself, as his mind wondered. He wondered if there would ever be a solution for him or if things would stay the same.